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No For Real

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(1 dirty spankin' | give it to me)

new art. same as blogger- same as myspace. [28 Jan 2006|01:52am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

so i've posted this all over the place by now-- but i'm super excited about it.
some art that i started earlier this week and I"m almost done!

i haven't done my own art in a LOOOOOONg time.

(give it to me)

ugh [19 Dec 2005|09:58pm]
[ mood | blank ]

cory's going away party was tonight.
it was pretty delicious.
but pretty stagnant.
i dont know--- it was alright, but forced conversation with strangers from work.

Lisa made some awesome food for it, though.

haven't heard from the prospective employer yet-- Chris keeps telling me I shouldn't think about it and they'll call me back soon enough.
I guess I'm just waiting to hear from them-- either way. to see if I have to stick it out at target, or if i can look forward to a brighter future with another company.
I'm hoping it's the latter.

I'm soooooo sleepy tonight.
i think it's from the forty pounds of brie that i ate at that party.
I should be studying for my final on wed. but i can't get myself to keep my eyelids above half mast, let alone concentrate on textile terms.

adam got me and chris some rockin' presents--- i dont think we were expecting anything from him-- which made me wonder what I was supposed to do now?
so we went to big brain and bought him a bunch of stuff--- and with it, we got ourselves a copy of ryan's book.

all in all it was an expensive day.

(give it to me)

rKelly [18 Dec 2005|09:54pm]
[ mood | full ]

i forgot for a while that he existed---
until a couple days ago he asked to be my friend on myspace...
that's fucking awesome.
so he left a comments saying he and I should get some coffee.
i'm tottally down with that.

once my life slows down a little i think i can handle letting a few dear friends back into my life.
I've gotta find my buddy joie.
and i've gotta find my other buddy Jessica...
wherever they are.

(give it to me)

guts and glory [15 Dec 2005|09:00pm]
[ mood | predatory ]

today i told my boss and my bosses boss that I needed a promotion.
and in a nice demanding way. not too jerky-- just enough that they knew I was serious.
good job gutsy.

my room smells like feces. i think its the litter box-- or maybe it's chris and he's blaming it on the litter box.
i dont know. whatever the case-- i cleaned it once today and I'm not in the mood to get up. i'm just going to keep on keepin on and let my nostril hairs burn out from the stench.

i haven't heard back from mara-mi like they said they would contact me.
chris says I should just wait and see.
my dad was saying that he thinks everyone has a good interview.
but i really honestly thought i had a great one!
so--- we'll see.
i'm waiting to hear from them.
it may be a life changing moment.

you're probably wondering why I even bothered to tell my boss and her boss that I wanted a promotion, then, huh.
well, i figure i've got a ll my bases covered. My boss's last day at target is tuesday--- and after that--- I figure that noone's really on my side.
so instead of wait it out like a sucker-- if nothing happens with mara-mi I wanted to plant the seed. to start the thought process.
Elisa figures that she'll be promoted no problem by Feb-- which is when we have our reviews.


that's good and all-- i just felt like I needed to cover my ass and get it out there.
if i'm quitting in a week or not.

(give it to me)

finish it up [13 Dec 2005|10:32pm]
[ mood | curious ]

got contacted by three other employers today.
dept 56--- wants to know what's up with me--- if i want to be a creative design director---
celarity-- says all they have is freelance.
Midwest of Cannon Falls says they are all full.

well, i have a feeling that I might be talking to dept 56 soon....?

I could kick that ass.

i found out what mara-mi pays--- and I'm confused if I'd take a pay cut to work there.
but then again, it might be totally awesome there.
I'm gonna have to see.

i'm gonna ask so many questions tomorrow they're gonna pee their pants.
i got home at quarter to ten tonight from target.

so many changes so many changes.

gotta do what's the best for my mental health.


(give it to me)

portfolio madness tonight [12 Dec 2005|10:52pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

i just spent the last 4 hours mocking up my new hundred dolla portfolio.
because... ( drum roll )
I've got an effing interview Wednesday!


screw you target!
I'm movin' on!

and you wont know it until it bites you in the asshole!

I'm super excited-- i got a request for an interview an hour into today.
which is awesome seeing as I JUSt submitted 7 resumes on Sat
I hope she likes my stuff--- then you guys might see me making stationery for mara-mi.


(1 dirty spankin' | give it to me)

over and done with [11 Dec 2005|01:56pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

so i had that thing removed. finally.
it was a giant fiasco and thousands of dollars later I am weird growth free.
thank god.

I 've been trying to figure out what i'm doing with myself lately.
I've begun applying for different jobs across the twin cities and one in particular in chicago.
I have a feeling that the Target job stint is over.
It's like I've been sitting around there doing some neat things, but I have a feeling that I should be getting on with my life.
I'm not really too happy there, and I"m not exactly learning a lot of new things to make it worth while.
Plus I"ve got no idea when they would even be looking to promote me.
now that my boss just quit it seems like a cue for me to start to get the ball rolling so I can stay behind it instead of getting run over by it as it gets bigger and bigger.

So I'll let you know how it goes!

six resumes went out yesterday.
and I'm gonna send out a couple more tonight!

(give it to me)

sleepy. [05 Apr 2005|09:29pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

yeah. i got home from teaching a little bit ago... i' m really really really tired.
chris bought me a tea and it taseted really watery.
so the latest news is that i have a lump in my chest.
what the hell.
and that is bad.
i went to the doctor today. i've been going on and off again for like two months and just now they ordered an ultrasound for me.
i think i'll go in a 7 in the morning to check it out tomoroow.

i'm worried.
well, if i have to have weird surgery (i hope i dont)
then maybe i'll get a break from work for a while.

(2 dirty spankin's | give it to me)

c' mon Hen. [26 Mar 2005|07:48pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

Today has been the most boring day of the year.
I got alot done, made some stationery and some jewelery.
took a bath and read a book about india.
went to patina and the pet store.
filled up on gas and ate nutter butters in my car.

but I'm sitting in my house waiting for henning to call me so we can go somewhere.
Tonight's the last night we're gonna be able to go out in a while. I can only imagine what
tomorrow's going to be like and what the rest of the week will be like.
I've decided that I think he's really great.
It's been a while since I've tried to contact anyone from mcad--- ones that I dont see on a regular basis at work or whatever.
and so just recently i wrote him an e-mail and we went for some bubble tea.
and it was great.
I havent had so much fun talking to someone in a really long time.

Sometimes you forget what it's like to start new with someone. I've had the same friends for ever now and sometimes it can get stagnant.
So tonight might be another fun filled night if you f'in call me, HEN!

besides that, last night was awesome too. i went with becky to the bead store and spent a lot of money on beads that i'll never use for anything.,,
what fun! it's like my secret stash of jewels or something.

Also, in the news of me--- I ordered my t-shirt a while back and I'm pleased that it will soon be at my door--- roughly by the 8th of April!
and then comes the stores!

I got my buttons the other day. I should really post those pics up here....

So....... I dont know what i'll be doing tonight.... i suppose it totally depends on if my plans go through or what.
i hope so.


(give it to me)

button1 [28 Dec 2004|05:16am]
[ mood | determined ]

"Drawl" is just a placeholder--- as far as i know it's someone else's website.
its just for fun. :P

(give it to me)

BAD DREAM [28 Dec 2004|05:02am]
[ mood | contemplative ]


I woke up crying this morning. I was having this awful apocalyptic dream....
Chris and I were on the way to this store, one that I've visited in a different dream before. we parked in a foresty area next to this huge tree. bigger  than any tree I've ever seen, bigger than a minivan around.
he didnt want to come in the store.
So i went.
I couldnt find anything.
I came back to where i had parked and saw a large branch, about the thickness of a small car, had fallen on top of the back half of the truck.
i panicked.
I went around to the front of the truck to see chris had been crushed. His lower half had been severed and was bleeding .
i couldnt get him out of the car.
he was talking sweetly to me. like he knew his life was over.
i called his mom and his sister...
I was in my "house" the one that i have in my dreams.
my father was soaking blankets and shirts and towels in the sink. there was a brush fire that was spreading.
My grandpa was there trying to run wet towels out to the yard where the fire was, trying to stop it.
I looked out the window and it was starting to go through the grass toward the dry plants in the forest.
i grabbed a towel and ran out there.
I tried so hard to get the fire to go away and when i barely putting anything out.
It spread to the forest.
A man walked towards us from inside the woods. and laughed at our efforts.
He bid us good day and walked out into the open field. where there was no fire.
I was burned on my left forearm and the top of my head.
I was back with chris, he was getting tired. stuck in the front of the car. His family was there with me.
and we were saying goodbye to him.
and then he died.
I was in a barn. planning a party that was supposed to have happened before the accident with chris.
i was distraught.
nothing was ready.
i had once had this party in another dream.
I remember needing oats.
I had a list i didnt remember seeing before.
i got it out of a cabinet in the barn.
i was out in the field where the fire had been.
it was nighttime.
the same people that were trying to set up for the party.
one person pointed up to the sky.
there was a light behind a whole bunch of clouds.
it was moving.
it came into view and it was a spaceship.
i saw a door open on the front of it.
it hovered there for a second with someone standing in the doorway.
Light surrounded me and
I was in a room. (in the spaceship)
perhaps i was dead.
the person entered the room (the one who was standing in the doorway)
she (?) told me I'd get to see everyone I had lost...
and then i saw vanessa,
and quioxtops,
and chris,
and then i woke up. 

(give it to me)

sleeeeeeepay...? [28 Dec 2004|04:39am]
[ mood | blank ]

hey, what's up.

i finally sent out these presents that i've been meaning to mail before christmas.
I got them all together and shipped them off to respective far away friends.

work has been getting better lately. not perfect, mind you, but for a while i really thought my world was ending in all respects of my life.... i had this dream a couple of days ago that was ultimatiely apocolyptic. if you've ever had a dream that shook you so bad you were utterly useless the next day--- that was my dream.

I will post it right after i make this entry...

i was wondering if anyone had a dream dictionary so that i could be able to see what my dream meant-- if anything..... because it sure freaked the crap outta me.

these last two days have been awesome... a well deserved rest with NO COMPANY over. i made some curtains for the kitchen last night with this awesome bird pattern in them, they're white with these line drawings of birds and twigs and flowers in blue. a really tiny really cute pattern.
it's really starting to feel like *my* house. i've been trying to get this new business thing up and running with a few friends lately and it's been going pretty well. i have the first button done of the couple that i think i'll make .
there was this guy there last year at the comicon -- www.bawidamann.com --that had a great booth.
he had all these shirts and prints of these illustrator pin up girls.
you should check out the website if you get a chance. they're pretty awesome.
i went on there the other night looking at his stuff and saw that he had posted something saying that all of his merchandise had been stolen at a rodeo.... that sucks.

anyway... that's what's going on.
today's gonna be a relaxing day....

(give it to me)

sick [28 Dec 2004|02:02am]
[ mood | sick ]

goddamn this head cold.
i am working on making buttons and getting pretty far... well, i guess so far i only have one completed design, but it's gonna be a good one, i think i'll upload it later.
100 buttons for 30 bucks!

busybeaver.com i think it is.

(1 dirty spankin' | give it to me)

christmas [25 Dec 2004|11:40am]
[ mood | blah ]

today's gonna be Long. it is a long weekend, yet I really dont have anything to keep me occupied today. it's supposed to be a day of family togetherness, but I'm not really in the mood to spend hours and hours sitting around talking. in fact, chris's family probably thinks poorly of me because i've retreated to the upstairs to play on the computer for a while. I'm actually thinking of plugging in my other computer and playing this game i never could beat from the beginning again.
well, things have been going better lately .i had a meeting with bridget to let her know what has been going on good and bad at the office. I have a feeeling things are going to start to change around there. and that makes me feel better. for a while i honestly thought that it was a lost cause. that nothing could happen to make the situation better, that my boss would never get reprimanded for her poor behavior and that I'd live in hell for the next while until i found another place to work.

and i was really that pissed. i was looking for ways out anywhere i could find them,.

it's so hard knowing that you dont have as many options when you've got a house to pay for.
*mental note: pay the house bill.

but... i heard on thursday that i was going to travel to new york with cori the new designer for kids!
i hope it's true....

(give it to me)

early christmas. [17 Dec 2004|11:59pm]
[ mood | impressed ]

my parents are in town this weekend. and we're celebrating christmas a little early. grandpa bumped my christmas up a week because since he's old he gets to do whatever he wants.
They got here yesterday around seven and surprised me with a STOVE, RANGE HOOD AND REFRIGERATOR for christmas!?!?!?!

(give it to me)

at work [15 Dec 2004|12:56pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

really really tired.
and hoping that things will get better.
I have illustration group tomorrow where we're going to discuss topics for the upcoming show.
I really hope it goes over well.
You never know who is going to pull through and who wont.
I feel like I've been too much a complainer lately.

so I'm gonna try and stop.

(give it to me)

painting. [14 Dec 2004|11:39pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Illustration Group is in two days and I havent done anything interesting for two weeks. the last time i made some art was on sunday... but that was for freelance stuff... where i was drawing mashed potatoes and stuff... so i figured tonight i'd work on my cat painting. you can see it in the background of the picture of me and vaness and jeff sitting on a chair. It's about a fourth finished. i did some highlights and shadows tonight, but cant manage to keep painting.
these last couple of days i've been really burnt out at target.

I got conned into being a mentor for a highschool student and had to go to PCAE to meet all the kids there.
I dont know how much I'm going to like being a mentor. in fact, I'm pretty upset that i didnt say no. I dont have that kind of time to figure out how to make all these meetings with someone else let alone get my shit done, without mentoring.

i keep trying to tell myself it wont be that bad, but i can only think about the inconvenience of meeting in golden valley..... whenever that will be.

my parents are coming up here this weekend to celebrate christmas at my house a week early.
that's gonna be cool. i only wish my brother BRIAN would make the trip up here. I never see him anymore. probably because he's such a recluse and a work-a-holic. still, i dont know how he's supposed to figure out how to use his present that we all got him if he doesnt come up here and get lessons from chris.

anyway... thats about it.

i hope tomorrow doesnt suck at work.
wish me luck.

(2 dirty spankin's | give it to me)

Pictures. [12 Dec 2004|11:04pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]


here's me and vanessa and jeff. notice that vanessa is sitting on him. :P
I miss her a lot....


and here are miles, jeff, and andy. sitting very nicely for a photo.
miles is jeff's mom. and andy is old and fat.


and even more pets. here's atari and twink. twink's my new puppy. atari has so far been a great guy, training twink into being not so bad. man, i forgot how bad puppies are. yeah, they're cute, but jesus they wreck everything. oh my god do they wreck everything.
twink's done more damage than atari ever did and he's what.... an eigth the size?


and FINALLY...... my very first christmas tree! yeah i know, it looks like a bush rather than a tree. but whaddar you gonna do. I like my trees FAT. :P

as far as everything else goes today i finished up a bunch of freelance stuff for this woman's text books. that was fun. i have never had to draw a fillet of fish before today. nor have i had to draw baby food and mashed potatoes.... hmmm...

i told someone that i'd be a mentor for some student at the arts highschool, so tomorrow i've gotta go down there with some art of mine and show these people what I do.... I am really not up for it right now.. and I believe the reason I got suckered into doing this is because i just cant say no sometimes when i'm backed into a corner and have no good reason not to do something. so poopies. here I go--- being a mentor to a highschool kid tomorrow.... wish me luck. :P

(give it to me)

christmas shopping done, Kitchen Done, [04 Dec 2004|11:17pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

I spent most of the day yesterday getting my final christmas presents for Chris at the mall of america.
Adam Hoppus came and picked me up-- and it took us an hour and a half to get to a parking spot from the f'ing ONRAMP. it was insane in there!
remind me NEVER EVER to go shopping there near christmas. ever again. it was awful.

on a good note I got what i wanted there, and then went over to uptown to get the rest of his present,

hold on, i'll finish this a little bit later....

(give it to me)

almost finished! [04 Dec 2004|11:03pm]
[ mood | awake ]

i got the day off yesterday for being such a hard worker. it was so nice. I was up and about at ten in the morning getting paint from this cute place in st. paul. there's this old sugar bowl that i have from the 50's that is this great shade of robin's egg blue... so i took it to the paint store and had them mix me up a gallon.
Painting sure is expensive. everything i got - roller, primer, paint, lead paint test kit-- ended up costing 70 dollars. :P
That isnt really what i expected.

But, I had the walls all sanded down and then spackled them up and sanded them again. and yesterday i put on my two coats of primer. So.... today's the day that I get to paint for real.

And after I'm done I'll put the molding back around the base of the wall and start a new project!

like tearing up the carpet!


I"m going to the mall of america with adam hoppus today to get christmas presents for a certian chris,
wish me luck, that kid is hard to shop for.
I will take pictures of my kitchen walls when I'm done.

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